I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We had to coat check the pizza.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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