that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
