I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
