people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
