You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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