sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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