yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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