If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
