for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
