i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
