I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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