i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
