Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
