so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
