i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
