Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Terrible idea I love it
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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