What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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