dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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