I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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