The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
