Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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