I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
