yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
