yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
