I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
