We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
