apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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