Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
