Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
where are my eyebrows?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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