I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
