but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
