you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
