I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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