another moral hangover. fuck.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I think i got beer on your cat.
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