Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
