HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
