dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
