dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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