you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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