this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
