Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He? As in you personified your dick?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
