i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
