your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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