If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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