If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
