I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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