Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
