I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
