Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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