That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i already hear my dad disowning me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
