YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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