cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
